“I was dreamin’ when I wrote this, Forgive me if it goes astray…”

There are a few things I know for sure in this life:

1. I love Prince. No matter what you do and no matter how cool I think you are, I will always think Prince is a little cooler than either one of us.

Prince

2. It actually is possible to have too much of a good thing.

That last one was proven to me a couple of days ago. Lately my sleeping patterns have been a little less than desirable. I’ve been pulling all-nighters and sleeping all day a lot the last couple of weeks but I think I’ve got it sorted out now. While I was taking one of my naps the other day I found that maybe I’ve been spending a little too much time on the internet, more specifically reading other peoples’ blogs. What happened? Well…

MY BLOGROLL IS INVADING MY DREAMS…

Now, you folks are cool and all, don’t get me wrong, but of all the things I want to dream about, random people I’ve met on the internet don’t exactly rank high on the list. I mean, you’ve got dreams of flying, there’s always Christina Ricci (swoon), I could be Batman (I’ve had that one!…oh, who am I kidding? My entire waking life is a giant Batman wish dream), and the list goes on.

But do I get any of that? Nope. I got this:

It started out with me walking in a swamp, which quickly turned into a sort of Amazon river kind of deal that I see on nature programs a lot, where the water’s all muddy and brown and you expect a crocodile to pop his head up at you any second. Suddenly I hear a roar behind me. It’s a freaking T-Rex and it’s bearing down on me. I start to haul ass but he’s a lot faster and he’s almost caught up to me. He’s getting closer and closer and I look down and suddenly there’s a 4-wheeler in front of me. I hop on it and right at the last second, just before the T-Rex is about to snatch me off of it with his big T-Rex teeth, the 4-wheeler starts up and I take off. This thing can seriously move. I leave him far behind (keep in mind, I’m actually in water at the time, but it’s only about wheel-deep), but I hear something else coming up behind me.

It’s one of these!

speeder bike

So, he starts to ram my 4-wheeler. However, somehow my battered 4-wheeler is actually faster than the speeder bike. Don’t ask me how. He starts to catch up to me, side-swiping me and ramming me from behind and knocking me all over the place, but I’m still outrunning him. I look up and suddenly I see that I’m coming up on a beach, with a giant house not too far from the shore. I gun it on the 4-wheeler and drive right up on the beach. Speeder bike guy is gone.

The house is huge, with lots of windows. The front door is wide open, so I walk inside. I hear the sound of someone talking in another room off to the right, so I make my way in there. It’s a woman and she’s sitting at a desk, talking on the phone with her back to me. She’s also doing something on a computer. I turn her chair around to see who it is. It’s The Pilver! Suddenly I realize that I’m supposed to be there. It’s like I had an appointment, but even after seeing her I still don’t quite know who she is or what I’m there to do. I think she’s Kristiane, but I’m not entirely sure. It also doesn’t help that she’s not only The Pilver…but she’s also DC! Dum, dum, duuuummm!

What?

Ok, let me explain. It’s like, you know how you just know certain things in dreams? Like, you walk into a building and even though you have no reason to know it, you just know you’re there to get your hair cut or something. Well, that’s what it was like. I instantly knew that I was supposed to be in Kristiane’s house for a specific reason, but she looked like DC. Whoever was in this chair was a weird combination of the two. It’s even stranger, because aside from one really small avatar picture that doesn’t tell you too much, I’m not even entirely sure what DC looks like. For the purposes of my dream, she had long dark hair. I didn’t get a good look at her face, because as soon as “DCistiane” turned around she said, in a sort of annoyed voice, “Just wait in the living room. I’ll be there in a minute.” I quickly whipped her chair back around so that she could face the computer, and she went back to talking on the phone.

I walked down the hall, back in the direction of the door that I came in from earlier, and made my way to the living room. Along the way I started thinking that I really needed clarification as exactly whose house I was in. So I started looking around at anything that would have a name on it. I saw a stack of mail on a table and started looking through it. I found an envelope that had the name Kristiane Clarice Eggers on it. I don’t know a great deal about Kristiane, only what I’ve read here and there, but I know for sure that her name isn’t Kristiane Clarice Eggers. Maybe Clarice comes from the fact that The Silence of the Lambs is one of my favorite movies of all time and that’s Jodi Foster’s character’s name in it. As for the Eggers part, the only thing I can think of is that about 7 or 8 years ago I kind of knew a girl named Christine Eggers. I only knew her because she was friends with one of my neighbors that I was friends with and used to come around sometimes. But I haven’t spoken to her in years, and barely even knew her then. It’s weird the things that we hang on to.

So, now that that mystery is kinda-sorta solved, I walk into the living room and find your standard issue TV, entertainment center, and clutter in the corner. Strewn all over the floor is a bunch of shoes and toys and stuff. For some reason I feel the need to straighten up, so I start organizing the shoes, just matching them up and lining them up along the wall. Just as I’m picking up a pair of light blue flip-flops, I hear, “Hey man, what are you doing?” I turn around, and in the kitchen is a guy laying on a futon. I guess he was napping. He sits up, and it’s…

Phil Lynott, lead singer of Thin Lizzy!

Phil Lynott

We have a brief conversation, but I can’t really remember what I said to him. His appearance is actually not much of a mystery. Just the night before I was watching a live Thin Lizzy show on VH1 Classic (the only decent music channel left on television), so it kind of makes sense he might show up in my dream. Although, in hindsight, the fact that I actually got to talk to Phil Lynott is pretty awesome considering he’s been dead for years and Thin Lizzy was an amazing band that never got the respect they deserved. As to why Phil seemed to be a little pissed that I was organizing flip-flops in Kristiane and/or DC’s house, well your guess is as good as mine.

It was about this time that “DCistiane”, who I still understood to be Kristiane yet still looked like DC, came walking down the hall and said something like, “Well, it looks like I’m all booked up right now. We’ll have to do this some other time.” So I said, “Alright” and left. I still don’t have the first clue what it was I was doing there in the first place, but she sure seemed to. I was just trying to find some place in which to hide from a speeder bike guy and a T-Rex. So I walked back out the door, got on my 4-wheeler and drove back into the ocean/swamp.

First off, I just want to apologize. I don’t know where this stuff comes from and I hope that no one reading this, including the ghost of Phil Lynott, thinks I’m unnaturally fixated on them. This was just too much fun to keep to myself, and I wanted to share it before I forgot it all, as often happens with out-there dreams. Don’t worry though. I’m not about to start stalking anyone. I know the idea of partying like it’s 1999 in a groovy house with Thin Lizzy on an island that’s guarded by The Galactic Empire in the middle of Jurassic Park sounds like a lot of fun, and some people may be tempted to go find it again, but that shit was scary. I’m staying away from both of you. And your flip-flops.

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10 Responses to ““I was dreamin’ when I wrote this, Forgive me if it goes astray…”

  1. Sheesh. And after we become Facebook friends you don’t incorporate me into your dreams? This makes me sad.

    I’ll try to work on penciling you in sometime soon. I’m pretty booked up, but I’ll see what I can do. It helps if you make vlogs where you’re wearing helmets that represent beloved cartoon characters of my youth. I can’t explain it, but apparently that’s all it takes. I’m shooting for a double feature where I can get you and bluesuit12 in there at the same time.

  2. haha, that part about the star wars guy was hilarious! It’s just so random!

    Yeah, even when it happened I was like, “Oh, cool!”, but then also scared at the same time. The coolness of it was outweighed by the fear of the T-Rex coming back.

  3. what a head trip.
    I too have had weird blogger dreams, but generally forget them.

    There was one time I went Hiking with Matt…
    but realized it wasn’t the REAL Matt because Matt wouldn’t hike.

    I think you might be right on that one. The phenomenon of dreaming of Matt is actually pretty common, apparently. I had one once. I dreamed I was sitting in a living room with his parents on their couch and they were showing me an old home movie of Matt when he was a teenager, playing in a band. I think he had purple hair. He was the only one not wearing some kind of costume. I can’t remember all the costumes, but the one I do remember was that the bass player was dressed as Batman.

  4. I love the randomness of dreams. I’ve incorporated people from the blogroll in mine as well but usually can’t really remember them. I just wake up with them on my mind thinking I just had a conversation with them but knowing that’s impossible.

    Well, if you wanted you could have a conversation with any of them. They just won’t reply is all. I say a one sided conversation done in your dining room with someone who lives on the other side of the country whom you’ve never actually met or spoken to in real life is still a conversation.

    • You know, technically he’s right.
      a one-sided conversation is still a conversation.

      Like I say to my BF of his brother-
      “Oh, so he called to talk AT you?”

      Is it a lecture kind of thing or did he call just to ramble on and be heard? I’ve got folks in my family that are great at both of those things. Family just LOVES to tell you how much you’re doing everything wrong, don’t they?

  5. I am so honored to be invading your sleep 🙂 I have had dreams about XE-ers in the past. Totally weird, I know.

    Yeah, it’s pretty trippy. You’ve joined a very elite club. Lately my dreams have almost all been about X-E’ers and Robert Jordan’s Wheel of Time series. I’m about a third of the way in (Book 4 out of a 12 book series), and I read some every night before bed, so I’m totally immersed in the whole thing. It’s so addictive that it’s the last thing I do before I go to bed, and one of the first things I do as soon as I get up. I can’t put it down and I’m glad it’s 12 books long (well technically 14 because Book 12 will be split up into 3 volumes), so I don’t have to worry about running out of my “fix” anytime soon.

  6. This fella just thinks he has great ideas and has to tell people about them. Interject all you want- don’t matter- he’s gonna pause politely as you speak, but then continue talking as if you didn’t say a damn thing.

    We avoid talking to him…

    I’ve known people like that. I avoid talking to them too. I’ve got a cousin that’s kind of the opposite. He asks you questions about what you’re up to, but it’s entirely out of politeness and clearly doesn’t care at all. He pretends to listen, but obviously doesn’t. He’s not even good at faking it either, just tunes you out and then asks you questions that clearly show he has no idea what you were talking about. Today he sent me an e-mail asking me about the job interview I had yesterday, and mentioned the name of the company. Not only did he get the company totally wrong, but my interview isn’t until Friday. We were JUST talking about that.

  7. I’ve had XE dreams before, but I have since forgotten them. The latest vivid dream I remember, I was in a ballroom in a hotel in Atlantic City with lots of casino table games, and my best friend was there, brothers in my frat, and most vividly, my ex-gf.

    Last night I had an incredibly vivid nightmare about a zombie invasion. Usually I would think that kind of thing was really cool, but this actually was a proper nightmare and was pretty terrifying. I spent the whole time fighting them and trying to keep from getting bitten. I remember that they were actually pretty fragile and every time I would punch one or grab it, they would just fall apart in an explosion of blood and guts. I was actually beating them with their own limbs and everything, but it just wouldn’t stop. I was even going up against zombie dogs. Yeah, I definitely don’t want a repeat of that one.

  8. I’m always pushing my way into people’s dreams. It’s what I do.

    I’ll keep you updated on any future appearances.

  9. Hey Mister DJ – I hope you don’t find this creepy and invasive, but nobody’s at w*rk today so I’ve decided to read your entire blog from start to finish.

    I used to date a guy who had a Phil Lynott tattoo on his arm.

    That is all.

    You’re up to the Phil Lynott one already? Wow. Did you start with the one where I talked about my He-Man tray and my Ms. Pac-Man mug and the Girl Scout Cookies? Cause I think that was the very first one. You’re coming along pretty quick there.

    And no, I don’t consider it creepy. Well, maybe a little. But good creepy, not weird uncle creepy.

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