By the time you read this, Halloween will have been over for over a full day and then some, and I will be curled up in the bed that sits behind me as I type this, dreaming of Alison Brie and strawberries. But for the next few minutes, I’m fulfilling a promise to myself that before this season was over, I would write my yearly punkin carving post. Sure, I’m getting it in a little over the wire, but who gives a care. Yesterday was Halloween and in my mind, it’s still the season of the witch until I hit the sack…at 5:00am on Nov. 2nd.
And so, since I’m trying to get this knocked out as quick as possible, and because I decided to make the ridiculous decision to combine all my pictures into neat little squares, I’m just going to get on with the show. Somehow I had it stuck in my head that since I started this blog in 2008, that I had written a pumpkin carving post every year. Right now is where I would have included a link to each of them. Turns out I only did it that one time. Samhain and lack of sleep can have a weird affect on your brains.
Right, so just like last time (and all those other times that I thought I wrote about), my punkin carving ritual involves me going over to my cousin’s house, me drawing up some super complicated design that takes me forever, and my cousin just taking a giant knife to his and hacking the crap out of it after only 5 minutes. And yes, my victim here was old Stemmy that I discussed in the last post.
So here’s the picture show. Mine is the pointy toothed, grinny one, and his is the one with triangle eyes and square teeth. I’d elaborate, but I’ve got pictures to resize and insert and I’m starting to nod off over here.
I even made a little vidja! If you listen close, you can hear my cousin yelling something in the background a couple of times.
This post was supposed to be even longer. I took a total of 15 pics that were going to be involved, some of which were taken at my workplace involving severed limbs, a chainsaw, copious amounts of fake blood, and enough spider webs to keep Party City in business. But, I think I’ve made it clear exactly how late it is. So, in the interest of brevity, just use your imaginations and picture a haunted house throwing up all over a bunch of cubicles, lit by stale neon lights, and you’ll get the picture.
I will leave you with one final image though. I was recruited to participate in a punkin carving contest. I lost and I’ll forever be bitter about it. It might just be my someone-stole-my-stapler-for-the-last-time-and-I’m-going-to-burn-down-the-building moment. They actually had a 15 point system by which they judged them, and I got 2 out of 15 points. Two. Two fucking points. For this.
Whatever. Hey, I’m about to hit post on this thing and it’s 5:00am, Nov. 2nd. You know what Nov. 2nd is?…
MY BIRTHDAY!!! Gaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!