Archive for December, 2011

The Ross Scale

Posted in Uncategorized on December 4, 2011 by DJ D

This is a place holder. I realized the other day that I’ve been lazy lately and have ignored this place at a time when one should not be ignoring blogs. I mean, it’s nearly Christmas for crying out loud. It’s not like I don’t have things to talk about. So, before I start going off on decorations, music, and that fat pervert who still owes me a G1 Soundwave, I’ll give you this early Christmas present: The story of how DJ D lost his game.

By “game”, I mean my ability to pull the ladies. Now, don’t get me wrong. I do alright, but even I have my off days. Friday was one of those days. What follows is my account of my failed attempt to “dip my pen in the company ink”, as it were.

I was standing in line behind this cute girl at work the other day in the cafeteria. It was taco day. I noticed she had a bow in her hair that had a skull in the middle of it. I’ve also noticed her around. After staring at it for a few minutes, I said something like, “Hey, I like your skull.” For some god-awful reason, I felt the need to point at my skull as I said it.

“Oh, uh, ok…thanks”. She turned back around.

A few minutes pass by and I realize that she probably thought some weirdo just complimented her on her actual skull. So, I decided to dig the hole deeper clarify.

“I meant, I like your bow thing…with the little skull.”

“Oh, thanks.” She turns back to the taco meat.

More time passes.

“I mean, not that your skull’s not nice too. I’m sure it’s fine. I just didn’t want you to think I was talking about it. But the skull’s nice too. I mean, the real one…And the bow.” By this point, I can see the look in her eyes is saying that she really wishes that this line would move a little faster.

“Your hair’s nice…”

Oh, the humanity. Someone just make it stop.

All I could think about was the time Ross flirted with the pizza girl and I tried to grade what I was going through on a scale of Worse Than Ross or Better Than Ross. She ended up just ordering a side of rice. I don’t know if that was her plan all long or if she abandoned tacos altogether in an attempt to just get out of there faster. At least I wasn’t talking about gas.