Archive for February, 2012

Caffeinated Wisdom on the Restroom Wall

Posted in Uncategorized on February 16, 2012 by DJ D

Most everyone reading this knows that I have a weekly radio show on WUSC 90.5 FM called Dark Entries: Goth Radio. It airs every Saturday night from 8-10pm (eastern) and can be heard streaming live on the WUSC site. Tune in and you can hear me play all kinds of spooky music and movie clips and generally embarrass myself. The station is in Columbia, SC, where I went to school and used to live. I’m crashing somewhere else these days (temporarily), and have to drive in to do the show once a week. This means an hour and a half drive. My weekly tradition lately is to drive in, stop by Chick-Fil-A, grab a combo and eat it in the studio before I hit the airwaves. So, if you’ve ever heard the show, what you may occasionally hear is me slurping on a diet lemonade in between song announcements. That is if I actually went to Chick-Fil-A. If I didn’t go there, it was because I hit up the bar first. Sometimes I stop by The Hunter Gatherer up the street for a few bourbon and cokes before I do my thing, so if you luck out, on any given night you might be entertained by DJ Slush. This has resulted in a few creative song choices as well as the occasional drunk dial.

If I don’t go to the bar before hand, I occasionally hit it up afterward instead. During the show, I’m participating in a fun chat in the comments thread on the Dark Entries: Goth Radio Facebook Page, which is where I also post the playlists for the show the day after. The discussion that takes place during the show has lately become an interactive part of the show itself, and if you’re not joining in that, you’re missing out. It always continues after the show is over, usually while I’m sitting at the bar and posting from my phone.

Why do I mention any of this, aside from using it an excuse to plug my show? Don’t judge me. A fella’s gotta hustle. It’s my way of setting up what happened last weekend. After the show, I headed off to have a few. I did, and then got the notion that I had a craving for some coffee. Mocha, to be more specific. Deej loves him some mocha. And bourbon. I have to work on combining those.

So, I headed off to Cool Beans, a coffee shop where I actually worked while in college. It used to be called Cafe Espresso (we referred to it as Cafe Depresso), but some genius decided to rename it Cool Beans after he bought it out. As Johnny Cash once said, I still hate that name.

So, I strolled in and ordered my usual. It’s called The Perfect Woman and involves coffee, chocolate, more chocolate, and whip cream. The little things floating on top are chocolate disks that slowly sink to the bottom and melt along the way, thus infusing it with even more caffeinated joy. I want one right now.

After picking up my cup of jitters, I set about hitting the road and making the 90 mile drive back home. As you can imagine, 2 bourbon and cokes and a giant cup of Perfect Woman later, and nature started to call. I saw a gas station way off the interstate that I had never been to before, and headed into the restroom. I immediately spotted this sign:

I will say the walls were completely clean. Then I saw the sink.

And the toilet

Then I went for the paper towels. That was when I saw the only bit of graffiti in the entire room:

The Good Mourning Team has a Sweater Day

Posted in Uncategorized on February 2, 2012 by DJ D

First off, I’d like to say that I am not making a vow to write more. Not going to do it. The reason is, every time I make some great proclamation that I’m going to do something and commit to it this time (write more blogs, go to the gym, lay off the soda, etc), I flake out on it approximately 7 minutes after announcing it to the world. But, I’ve found that if I just do it, make no promises, and don’t talk about it at all, it just gets done. So, this is me, not promising anything, but instead, finding myself coming up with a lot of ideas lately and an intense desire to rattle off something at least once or twice a week. That’s the goal. Nope. I take that back. Not a goal. Just something that’s likely to happen. If Rev. Back It On Up 13 can write 37 posts a day, there’s no reason why I can’t do something around here.

So, that being said (in a long winded fashion), here’s what I’d like to discuss today. I work with a bunch of morons. I don’t like to discuss my day job too much with the rest of the world, but it involves a lot of technology, a lot of nerds, and a lot of stress. And a boss who, while he manages quite a few people and has a position full of responsibility, is apparently allergic to Spell Check. Also, he’s been walking with a weird, lumbering limp lately, and I’m not sure what that’s about. Oh, and not too far from me sits a pre-op transgendered person who frequently loses his or her temper and has been given a stern talking-to on more than one occasion about yelling and throwing things. Yeah, that’s just a taste of the sideshow I’m dealing with up there.

The following are excerpts from e-mails and memos that have been sent out over the past week or so. If this looks bad, don’t even get me started on the spreadsheets. Btw, these appear exactly as I received them. I have not altered them in any way, be it with spelling, punctuation, or lack thereof.

“Good Mourning Team I will be bringing around a updated product liability handout with a sign off sheet showing that it is attached. Tomorrow will be sweater day so if you want to dress down where your favorite sweater to work…Lets make sure we take every step to be successful no short cuts.”

“Good Mourning Team Today is the start of a new month so we need to make sure that we our focus we can’t afford to put our self in the hold this month. QA is a must that we past this month we all our accountable there is no reason we can’t follow the steps to past QA. As you all know we have the agent bonus payout scale still going so keep in mind that extra money is still on the line team.”

After reading over this, I can’t get my mind off what a “Good Mourning Team” might be. I have no idea, but I’d like to put one together. Sounds like my idea of a good time. I’m sure Jugendsehnsucht would be down for it.

Oh no. I just figured it out. Boss Limpypants is actually my mystery texter from a couple of years ago.

Sweater Day Icy Entertainment?