The wellspring of idiocy at my day job is never ending. Throughout the history of this blog, I have documented it here and here, but recently I’ve found that it’s taken a new form; that of the daily morning e-mail from my boss. I first bestowed this electronic pile of brain diarrhea on the world in this post, and today I have returned for a new segment. Since that last post, I’ve changed bosses. I assumed that this would mean an end to e-mails that seem as though they’re written by someone who speaks English as a second language, but I couldn’t be more wrong. Apparently, being promoted into that position takes you down to a 3rd grade reading level. Either that, or they’re not exactly hiring from the brightest end of the employment pool. Either way, I present to you, yet another e-mail full of stupid. As always, this is copy/pasted exactly as it appeared. I have not altered it in any way in regards to spelling or “grammar”.
“Going forward team, on the blue walls of your desk the only thing allowed is your name plate, monthly calender, our top priorities sheet, and your EXT #.
This is for BLUE WALL ONLY!
The White Wall you may hang your personal things on as long as it is appropriate and the appearance of your white wall is needs to be neat.
Also everyone needs to ensure that there is no trash in there desk
This includes empty soda cans, candy wrappers, and trash in general.
Every ones desk much be clean and clear when leaving for the day.
As you can see, I work for a fascist regime that will haul you out back and beat you within in an inch of your life if you hang anything personal on the sacred BLUE WALL. FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, DON’T FUCK WITH THE BLUE WALL. This entire operation will collapse into chaos! Dead rising from the grave! Seas boiling! Dogs and cats…living together…mass hysteria!