Fun With Spam

As Amy said recently, I’ve been writing quite a bit lately. I think the exact word she used was “blogalicious”. I can’t explain it, but I assume being unemployed has a lot to do with it. Maybe I was unconsciously gearing up for Matt’s return to X-E with today’s Valentine’s Day post. Oh crap, I just realized. Today is V-Day. I suppose I should have written something on theme today. Aw, screw it. I know what I want to write about and I’m doing it.

I had plans to write something that will be far more entertaining than what you’re about to read, but I’ll save it for the next post. Instead, we’re going to have some fun checking out my WordPress Spam folder for fun comments. I did this a while back many posts ago, but my folder has been since replenished with a whole new batch. Maybe I’ll make this a regular thing. Maybe I’ll teach your grandmother to suck eggs.

Right, so this is pretty straightforward. You’ll see the comment, the “person/company/whatever” who left it, and then I’ll comment on the comment. You’ve all been here before. I’m sure you can keep up. Allons-y!

 

“I am really pleased to see you have what I am actually looking for here and this this post is exactly what I am interested in. I shall be pleased to become a regular visitor.”
–Les Nietupski

I absolutely expect you to live up to that, Les. In fact, if you do not become a regular visitor, I will hunt you down and kill your entire family. Except for the family dog. I’ll leave the dog.

 

“Curb My Enthusiasm…

Here at World Spinner we are debating the same thing……”
–World Spinner

I assume that since they made mention there of my previous post, that this is in reference to that. It’s nice to know that the folks at World Spinner are debating proper restaurant check paying protocol and whether or not they consider themselves to be more like George Costanza or Larry David.

 

You got a really useful blog I have been here reading for about an hour. I am a newbie and your success is very much an inspiration for me.”
–vigrx

Well, thanks a lot, “vigrx”. And what success would that be, exactly? Acheiving new heights in being a neurotic geek? Glad I could help. Reach for the stars, kid. Reach for the stars.

 

“bonusy bez depozytu kasyno darmowa ruletka online hazard internetowy w polsce polskie kasyna europejskie kasyno maszyny hazard bingo warszawa gry hazardowe za darmo hot spot gry hazardowe online hotspot gra bingo online kasyno na imprezy najlepsze gry hazardowe darmowe kasyno gra poker do pobrania poker gra za darmo gry hazardowe w internecie gry hazardowe kasyno poker gra internetowa kasyno download kasyno bonusy”
–Kasynafak

The hell you say!? Get out of town!

 

“What a fantastic blog/post/article.After reading the article,I derive pleasure and benefit.I will continue to focus on your blog.”
–Supra Skytop”

Pleasure and benefit! Aw, get out of here. You’re just saying that. (blushing)

 

“Normally I don’t read article on blogs, but I wish to say that this write-up very forced me to try and do so! Your writing style has been surprised me. Thanks, very nice post.”
–Blu Cantrell

Thank you, Blu Cantrell. Thank you for reinventing English grammar. You’ve been surprised me too.

 

“I precisely wished to say thanks once again. I do not know what I would’ve tried in the absence of those hints contributed by you directly on this industry. It previously was an absolute daunting setting for me personally, but seeing a new professional tactic you dealt with the issue forced me to jump for gladness. I’m just happier for the service and thus hope that you recognize what a great job that you’re carrying out instructing many people through the use of your webpage. I know that you haven’t encountered any of us.”
–Chyna

This might be my favorite out of the bunch. If you read it as though it’s written by aliens attempting to make first contact (especially the last sentence), it makes much more sense. I love that it completely redefines the notion of the run-on sentence. My 5th grade English teacher would lose her shit if she read this. Also, I had no idea that I was contributing hints to an industry or that I was “instructing many people”. Thanks, Chyna! I look forward to serving you as my new intergalactic overlord.

 

“This is a interesting post by the way. I am going to go ahead and bookmark this post for my sis to read later on tonight. Keep up the excellent work.”
–national debt relief stimulus plan

Yeah, I bet your sister will “bookmark my post” later tonight.

 

So, those were the more notable ones. And, since it is Valentine’s Day, I’ll leave you with something I posted on the Dark Entries: Goth Radio Facebook page earlier today. The Virgin Prunes were one of my favorites of the first wave Goth scene. And believe it or not, they grew up with and are good friends with all the guys in U2. This track, “Pagan Lovesong”, is their most notable one, appearing on just about every decent Goth compilation out there, and is a classic for those of us who are dark at heart.

  

That’s it, kids. Coming up on the next post, we kill some cheerleaders.

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3 Responses to “Fun With Spam”

  1. I precisely wish thanks for article of pleasure and benefit. I will bookmark post. Your blog has been surprised me.

    Hoochie Mama!

  2. I received a stunner the other day: “thnx bro”.

  3. I get those comments all the time, too. There often time mixed in with messages of how I can grow my lady parts and where I can find naked pictures of Kim Kardashian. Half of them aren’t written in complete sentences while the other half must have been written by 14 year-olds. Of course the spam folder isn’t nearly as interesting as the words and phrases people search to find me. “I wear dirty plastic pants” is my all time favorite.

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